Sunday, June 6, 2010

Day 971 - Conversations With Emma

I was home alone (AHHHHHH!!!) with the kids, and Andrew took a gigantic dump. It was one of those dumps when you open up the diaper you think to yourself, "I'm never going to eat meatloaf again."

Andrew was being very difficult and did not want his diaper changed. He was twisting his body and kicking his legs -- not a good combination for a diaper change.

Soon he began screaming, "I want car book! I want car book!"

At this point, I had Andrew's diaper off and there was no way I was going to be able to get the car book that was on the floor. But if I did not get the car book, there was no way I was going to be able to change his diaper without some sort of crap catastrophe.

Suddenly, I remembered I had another child in the living room that could help me.

"Emma! Emma! Can you help Daddy?"

And just like the good daughter she is, she came running into the bedroom with a cheerful, "Hi Daddy!"

"Emma. Can you help Daddy?" I asked as I continued to wrestle with Andrew's ankles and ass.

"Okay," said Emma.

"I'm trying to change Andrew's diaper, but Andrew wants one of his car books. Can you get one for me?"

Emma turned around and saw the stack of car books on the floor. She walked towards the books and said, "I do not want to get you a car book."

And as she left the room, I eventually was able to change Andrew's diaper despite me looking like an abused Ding-Dong left out in the sun.

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