I was embarrassingly caught between a rock and a very large woman. Literally. I was trapped by Arnie's mistress at Benedict Canyon while hiking because Mildred came rolling down a hill after tripping over her can of Jarrito's Pineapple soda. We were trapped for 127 hours because her left aureola was pinned against my right arm. The tabloids made a big deal out of it because Mildred and I became close. Literally. The gravitational force around her chest made it very difficult for me to walk away on my own.