Thursday, December 22, 2011

Day 1520 - Holiday Newsletter Scandal #5

I was embarrassingly caught between a rock and a very large woman.  Literally.  I was trapped by Arnie's mistress at Benedict Canyon while hiking because Mildred came rolling down a hill after tripping over her can of Jarrito's Pineapple soda.  We were trapped for 127 hours because her left aureola was pinned against my right arm.  The tabloids made a big deal out of it because Mildred and I became close.  Literally.  The gravitational force around her chest made it very difficult for me to walk away on my own. 

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