The holidays are upon us, and this is a wonderful time to be parents. Sure, the whole Santa Claus/family/gift crap is great. But even better is that you're able to blackmail your kids into behaving like good little children! You're not going to eat your vegetables? NO PRESENTS! You're not going to stay in bed? NO PRESENTS! You're not going to give us your Christmas money? NO PRESENTS!
I've never asked my friends how they deal with Santa Claus at their homes, but we have arbitrarily decided that Santa Claus magically fills up your Christmas stockings with toys and gifts on Christmas Eve; all of the other gifts underneath the tree are from family, friends, and sperm donors.
Although we already bought Emma and Andrew their gifts , we asked them to write a letter to Santa. Being a teacher, Lisa told the kids to write their own letter. So with a little coaxing and coaching, Emma and Andrew wrote their own letters to Santa for the very first time.
Here is Emma's letter:
I WANT PLAYDOH, CASTLE, BOOK.
I hope Santa will be able to read those commas or else Emma's going to end up getting a play-doh castle book. The funny thing that came out of writing this letter is that Emma told us she was a little nervous about Christmas because she thought she screwed things up when she visited Santa. Emma explained that she told Santa she only wanted a princess castle and nothing else. When the actual truth is that she wants a princess castle and many, many more presents.
And here is Andrew's letter:
I WANT CARS, PLAYDOH, BOOK.
If you're wondering why Andrew's letter is so similar to Emma's, it's because Andrew got a mental block after cars. All Andrew really enjoys playing with are all of his Cars toys, but he didn't want to get screwed out of receiving less presents than Emma so he decided to tag on playdoh and books. Take that, Emma!
Since the kids wrote these letters towards the end of the day, we told them that we would mail them out tomorrow. Or maybe not? Did you pick up all of your toys? No? Well maybe we won't mail your Santa letter! Bwahahah! Oh, I love Christmas...