Thursday, April 7, 2011

Day 1275 - Stapled Out

Last weekend, we were invited to our friend's 40th birthday party.  Although I have not hit this milestone birthday, I'd rather be known by my maturity age:  six.  Or better yet my I.Q.:  four. 

Our friend's wife invited all of his friends to a Los Angeles Clippers game in a private lounge at the Staples Center.  At first, I was only going to go to the party because we had no babysitters, and I'm such a fan of office supplies (Imagine my disappointment...).  But our friends insisted we come, so they were kind enough to send us tickets for Emma and Andrew too.

The day of the party, Andrew did not take a nap.  So of course he falls asleep just as we pulled into the parking garage.  Before I continue with this blog entry, you need to understand how soundly Andrew sleeps.  Once he's asleep, nothing will wake him up.  Emma crying in the middle of the night?  Nope.  Me crying obscenities at the television set while playing Uncharted 2?  Nope.  Lisa badly singing an aria from Aida?  Actually, yes...

As we exited the parking garage, Lisa carried Andrew and I carried Emma.  Luck would have it that the up escalators were out of order, so we had to trudge it upstairs with our high heel shoes on (What?  Can't I look fancy too?).  I could tell as we got to the top of the stairs that Lisa wouldn't be able to carry a kid any more.  So I convinced Emma to walk, and I carried Andrew.

Do you know that feeling when you're driving and that mountain on the horizon doesn't seem that far away?  But it takes an hour to actually get to the mountain?  That's the way it felt like when I saw the Staples Center from a crosswalk.

It's amazing how a thirty-one pound toddler can slowly morph himself into the cumulative thirty-one hundred pound cast of The Biggest Loser.  I wouldn't call myself a muscular person, but I've more than held my own in the past when I've had altercations with the elderly and disabled.  Yet, carrying Andrew for almost thirty minutes put a real strain on my body.

Once we made it to the Staples Center, we had to take an elevator to the fourth floor and then literally walk around half of the complex to reach the private room.  I collapsed on a sofa as Andrew continued to sleep on top of me.  He eventually woke up, and as Lisa carried him away, I noticed that half my body was soaked in sweat and the other half in pee (75% Andrew's and 25% mine).

Although it was exhausting to bring the kids to a basketball game, Lisa and I were glad that we were able to be there for our friend's birthday party.  Emma and Andrew now have a memory of their first basketball game, and Andrew has a better understanding of which balls are appropriate to play with.

And just to make things clear, here is a little graphic of what we walked:

But this is what it actually felt like:

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