Day 1088 - iPod, uPissed

Since I had to drop Lisa off in West Hollywood for a haircut appointment, I decided to take a short drive over to The Grove with the kids. I bought ourselves a little snack (kids halved a bagel; I had chicken marsala and a bottle of red wine), and then relaxed with the kids while watching the free water fountain show.

It was soon time to pick up Lisa, so I got the kids back into the car and slowly made my way out of the parking structure. Andrew wanted to listen to music and asked for the ipod.

"Sorry, Andrew," I said. "Daddy forgot the ipod at home, so we have to listen to the radio."

"Don't forget again," said Andrew.

What dah huh dah what he say?

"What did you say, Andrew?" I asked.

"Don't forget again," he repeated. And for emphasis, he said it once again with gusto, "Don't forget AGAIN!"

And not to be left out, Emma chimed in. "Andrew said don't forget the ipod again because he want to listen to his Cars (i.e. the Pixar movie soundtrack) song so don't forget it at home again."

"DON'T FORGET AGAIN!" Andrew added.

"You bring ipod next time we in car," suggested Emma.

"Don't! Forget! Again!" Andrew said...again. And again.

I told the kids to calm down and that they should not shout at Daddy. And to show them who was the boss, I said that if they continued to be angry at me about the ipod, then I would tell Mommy and Mommy would be very upset. I contemplated adding for extra drama and tension that Lisa was menstruating, but I left that out.

Eventually, Emma and Andrew settled down and they began to laugh and jabber away as they usually do in the car. But in the driver's seat, there was a very little man with very big conflicting feelings.

On one hand, it was my fault for forgetting the ipod because I usually always bring the ipod when we go on longer car rides. But I really didn't want to be ridiculed and lectured by my three year old twins. Lecturing and ridicule should be the sole responsibility of the wife.

To avoid further lecturing by these little hooligans, I think I'm either going to load up an old ipod with all of their songs or burn a CD. Although I see the humor in all of this, once again I can't help but imagine what things will be like ten years from now when the kids are thirteen.

TEN YEARS FROM NOW...

"Yo, douche! Did you bring the ipod yocto?" says Andrew.

"Oh. I think I forgot it at home," I answer.

"You fu*%ing idiot!" shouts Andrew.

"What did you say, Andrew?" I ask.

"YOU FU*%ING IDIOT!" screams Andrew.

Emma says, "Andrew called you a fu*%ing idiot because he doesn't want you to forget the ipod again because he wants to listen to his Justin Bieber greatest hits songs so don't forget it at home again, fu*%er."