Week 35 - Mom Ichikawa's Joke O Day

I was talking to my mom on the phone today while driving home. She told me that my dad was laughing and laughing at yesterday's blog when I wrote about her inability to differentiate a child from a grown midget.

"You know," said my mom. "I have much funnier story to tell, but now I not tell you."

After a short five seconds of silence, my mom broke down and just had to tell me her funnier story.

"So this story much funnier! We had garage sale at home last weekend and this lady looking at nice leather shoes. She come to me and asks if she buy for one dollar. I tell her that these shoes are leather and they are two dollars. She tell me that nobody will buy shoe for that much at garage sale. I tell her sorry two dollar. So then she get nasty and THROW shoe back in box!"







Notice the large space I left between this sentence and the last sentence? That represents the gigantic amount of room needed to store the shocking silence of my mom's unfunny story.

Now if I was her, the story would've gone something like this:

"So this story much funnier! We had garage sale at home last weekend and this lady looking at nice leather shoes. She come to me and asks if she buy for one dollar. I tell her that these shoes are leather and they are two dollars. She tell me that nobody will buy shoe for that much at garage sale. I tell her sorry two dollar. So then she get nasty and THROW shoe back in box! But she miss box and hit midget with backpack."

And as for Lisa's condition today, she is doing as well as a person carrying two midgets can be. For some reason she hasn't had a contraction for the past 3 days; the previous record was 2 days. She still feels the occasional ache in her back or on her sides, but luckily the painful spasms have subsided for now. One of the kids has the hiccups now. I guess I'll end today's entry and figure out a way to stop the hiccups. I'm either thinking sticking a teaspoon of sugar up Lisa's cooch, or just randomly shouting "BOO!" at Lisa's vagina.