It was a sad day in the Ichikawa house because we bid farewell to a trusty family friend. He was there in our time of need. No matter how awful the job, he was there for us. We crapped on him time and time again, yet he never left. He stood true and loyal to us. Good bye, dear friend. Good bye, Diaper Champ.
Yes, after four years of stinky servitude, it was time to send off our crappy little dumpster off into a larger, crappier dumpster. It was a strange feeling throwing away our feces friend because we've had him from the very beginning. From the very first diaper to the very last diaper, our poopy compadre was there.
Truthfully, we had the Diaper Champ downstairs in our office for about a month before I finally threw it away. I could easily throw away a piece of artwork that the kids drew, but for some reason I was having a really difficult time getting rid of our poop chute bucket. Why was I so attached to this piece of crap?
Then it struck me. This meant that the kids were growing up. I was having difficulty throwing it away because I had a hard time acknowledging that our babies were no longer babies anymore. So as I sat downstairs staring at the Diaper Champ, I came to terms with Andrew and Emma growing up and realized it was simply time to get rid of our fertilizer friend. I gave it one last hug, a big sloppy kiss, and placed it gently into the garbage dumpster.
But I must say the thought crossed my mind to use the Diaper Champ as something else. I brainstormed and came up with several ideas. I only share these ideas with you because Lisa refused to hear me out.
A butter churner. Mmm. What's that delectable, creamy, yet subtly feces-tinged spread on my toast?
A soda dispenser. Dr. Pooper, Poop Beer, or Mountain Doo?
A planter. You'll never run out of fertilizer.
A Halloween costume. C3PO and RpooDpoo.