Saturday, July 17, 2010

Day 1010 - How 'Bout Now?

There are many famous catchphrases. Robert DeNiro has "You talkin' to me?" Tom Cruise has "Show me the money!" Mel Gibson has "I hope you are &*#^ by a pack of $%*(&%^*!" And now Andrew has his very own catchphrase: How 'bout now?

What is the context in which Andrew's catchphrase is used? Unfortunately, he uses it when we ask him not to do something. For example, let's say that Andrew is standing on the coffee table, and we ask him to get down. Instead of getting completely off the table, Andrew may squat on the table.

"How 'bout now?"

We ask him to get off the table again. Andrew takes one leg off the table.

"How 'bout now?"

We tell Andrew he must get off the table. Andrew takes the other leg off the table.

"How 'bout now?"

We draw a diagram showing Andrew what "off the table" means. Andrew puts one foot on the floor.

"How 'bout now?"

We hire a Japanese midget to play Andrew in a short play we wrote titled "When Andrew Got Off the Table." Andrew finally puts both feet on the floor.

Admittedly, at first it was pretty cute to hear Andrew repeatedly say, "How 'bout now?" But the novelty has worn off, and we're trying to explain to him that "How 'bout now?" is not a sufficient answer. We have told him that when we ask him not to do something it is because we want him to safe and not hurt himself. As a last measure, we have also shown him the social service scenes from the movie Precious; he is terrified of Mariah Carey with a mustache.

I believe there is progress with Andrew's behavior. He listens to us more often, and he has not said "How 'bout now?" for a few days. Although I must tell you that instead of saying "How 'bout now?", he has replaced it with "Kiss my ass." Back to the drawing board...

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