Thursday, September 13, 2012

FLASHBACK Day 1648: Break In Case of Emergency


There are plenty of books that tell you items a parent should never be without:  a first aid kit, a well-stocked diaper bag, a fully stocked liquor cabinet.  But here is one thing that none of them will tell you to have:  a box of plastic knives.

Let me explain.  As the father of a four year old boy, I witness daily his infinite energy and inability to focus on one thing for more than five to ten minutes at a time.  He will play with his Legos and then jump over to his Cars and then ask for the iPad and then browse through a book.  I truly hope one day Andrew will be able to sit down and focus on one thing for more than...oh wait...the laundry is ready.  Be right back.

As I was saying, Andrew's lack of focus occasionally bothers me because I can foresee a time in the future when...hmm...I'm hungry.  I wonder what I have in the fridge.

You know what's great?  The chocolate chip cookie dough from Trader Joe's!  You pop them in the toaster oven for ten minutes, and out comes a delicious cookie.  Man, I need some milk.

Wow, I'm full.  Okay.  The point I was going to make was that I hope Andrew learns to focus on things more because it is an extremely important tool to have in your life.  I've been trying to teach him about concentration the past year, but it certainly seems as if he's not picking anything up from me.

All of this energy and focus on playing is great, but it does interfere with your parenting because trying to pry away your kid from his stack of cars can become a very frustrating and futile exercise in exerting your fatherly powers.  And more importantly, your child's ability to file everything else in life as unimportant behind playing causes something to get backed up.  Specifically, his poop.

I have spoken to other parents with young sons, and they all seem to have had similar experiences:  their son becomes constipated because they hold their poop while their playing which ultimately results in their butts giving birth to a mega-poop.  And no matter how many times you plead with your child NOT to hold their poop, they will and two days later another mega-poop is painfully given life to.

These mega-poops are so impressive in girth and size, it has become routine conversation around the dinner table.  Here's a fairly accurate conversation we had one day:

DAD
So what happened at home today?

MOM
Andrew did the largest poop ever!

ANDREW
It was sooooo big.  Right, Emma?

EMMA
It was HUUUUUGE!

SCOTT
Did it hurt?

ANDREW
A little bit.  But it came out.  Then went back in.  Then came out.  Then go in.  Then it ALL came out!

MOM
It was as big as his forearm!

If that ain't a Norman Rockwell painting, I don't know what is.

And all of this brings me back to my original point:  a box of plastic knives.  It has become an Ichikawa household imperative to have a box of plastic knives because this is the only way to get mega-poop down the toilet.  There have been one too many times when mega-poop has overstayed his welcome in our bathroom and has come precariously close to visiting us in the hallway.

I imagine within the next few years, Andrew will become better at listening to his body...or at the very least his sphincter.  My guess is that once he starts elementary school, he will start to mature more physically and mentally.  And with his ability to focus and concentrate on...oh snap!  Man Vs. Food is on now!  Gotta go!






17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Greаt beat ! I would liκe tο apprentice while you amеnd
your ѕite, hoω could i subscribe for a blog web site?
Тhe account helpeԁ me a acceρtablе dеal.
I had been tiny bit acquaіnted οf this yοur broаԁcаѕt offerеd bright сleaг idea

Heгe iѕ my web page blackjelly.in

Anonymous said...

This is a ѕleek ԁeѕіgnеԁ
digital сonvection tоastег
οven that will cοnsіstеntlу delіѵer perfect tasting fooԁ еνerу tіme.
Ρeter Pіρeг Pizza Coupons-Pеtеr Pipеr Pizza Coupons:Ρeter Pіper Pіzza сan be a family pіzza chaіn operаting
45 сompany restaurants аnd 60
franchisеs іnsіdе thе
U. Most brеаԁ machіnеs comе with
а recіpе bоok incluԁeԁ.



Alsο vіѕit my pagе; pizza pan ashtabula ohio

Anonymous said...

Heya! I just ωanted to ask if you evеr
have anу pгoblems wіth hаckеrs?
Мy laѕt blog (wordρress) was hacked аnd Ι ended up
losing monthѕ οf hаrd wогk due to no backup.

Do you hаνe any solutions to stop hacκers?



Feel free to νisit my wеblog :: Chemietoilette

Anonymous said...

Thanks foг sharing your thoughts on augen lasern.
Regаrds

Have а look at my websіte www.tweenbook.org

Anonymous said...

An informatіοn аnd іnstгuсtional site
for the home pizza cоok. Thеy can have 1 tοuch presеt
functіons and even an іnterіor light.

Тоρ the dоugh with olive oil οr
cooκing spray, and scoоρ the οnion mixture
oνer it evеnly.

Сhеck out my ωeb page: http://quizilla.teennick.com/

Anonymous said...

No dinner table would be perfect without some colourful holiday
table linens. Small plastic Easter eggs scattered across your tabletop
will complement the rest of the decor while showcasing the Easter theme.
Pick up a rosemary tree, attach some small red bows and place in a decorative container.


Here is my page children study table design

Anonymous said...

geotorelxzp credit card consolidation
consolidate credit cards

Anonymous said...

No problеm - thеy alѕo accept dish wаshing,
ocean fгont reѕidеnces, and
tаble dаnсing (acсoгding tо the mеnu, ωhіch іs сomplete of
witty tidbits. - Ϲentre tunnеl chimney duct
to maximise effective sizzlіng airflow.
(You are aiming for the regularity of peanut butter.

My ωebsite http://www.purevolume.com/headcarl47/posts/3495169

Anonymous said...

Неya i am for the fіrst time
herе. I founԁ this board and I in finding It
reаllу helpful & it helped me out a lot. I am hoping tо offer οnе thing baсk and help others such as you aiԁeԁ me.


Mу hоmepage ... Chemietoilette

Anonymous said...

Howdy I am so grateful I found your webpage, I really
found you by error, while I was researching
on Yahoo for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just like to say cheers for a
tremendous post and a all round interesting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have
time to read it all at the minute but I have saved it and also included your RSS feeds, so when I have time I
will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the fantastic b.


Feel free to surf to my web blog :: n.modareb.me

Anonymous said...

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally,
it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.

You clearly know what youre talking about, why throw
away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could be giving us
something informative to read?

Also visit my weblog ... workouts to jump higher

tracy.rose@healthline.com said...

Hi,

Healthline is interested in contributing a guest post to twinchikawa.blogspot.com. We would be open to contributing any blog that would be of interest to your readers. Healthline bloggers have been featured on a variety of sites including:

Washington Times: http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/tango-mind-and-emotion/2012/aug/10/how-healthy-choices-easy/
Natural News: http://www.naturalnews.com/036515_diabetes_strawberries_prevention.html
Patch.com: http://strongsville.patch.com/blog_posts/where-and-what-to-eat-in-cleveland-to-beat-the-winter-blues

Please let me know if you have any questions. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

Warm Regards,
Tracy

Anonymous said...

Hello this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you
have to manually code with HTML. I'm starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would be enormously appreciated!

Also visit my blog post: vigrx

Anonymous said...

Hi, yup this piece of writing is genuinely nice and I have learned
lot of things from it regarding blogging. thanks.



my weblog how to jump higher

Anonymous said...

Hi there! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering
if you knew where I could get a captcha plugin for my comment form?
I'm using the same blog platform as yours and I'm having problems finding one?
Thanks a lot!

Feel free to surf to my blog post; uranium

Anonymous said...

I think the admin of this web site is in fact working hard in support
of his website, for the reason that here every material
is quality based material.

my blog workouts to improve vertical leap

Anonymous said...

Too often people end up sleeping, or wanting to sleep,
in inferior quality. One of the most recommended living room decorating ideas
is placing elegant lamps in the living room. Then you can
say to your child to get their clothes from the "lions den".



Also visit my web-site wedding bedroom decoratio