Day 1636 - Picture Friday

 Daddy does not approve of this car.

 Emma experiences what it was like when Mommy drove her first car.

 Daddy approves of this car.

Move over, Ponch and Jon!  There's a new CHiP officer in town, and she's not easily ruffled when she lays down the law.

Have a great weekend!

Day 1633 - Under a Spell

How does Pixar do it?  How do they get millions of boys infatuated with their Cars merchandising?  Do they put something in the die-cast paint like car crack or car-caine?  Have they embedded their plush dolls with speakers and at night John Lasseter whispers things like "If you ever stop loving Lightning McQueen, then Chick Hicks will give your parents cancer"?  Regardless, Andrew is still a Cars loving freak.

But one good thing did come out of it:  he learned to spell.  Or at least he found the need to spell.  You see, Andrew began to ask me how to spell words like "Cars 2" or "Mater" or "Ed Catmull President of Pixar Animation Studios".  Why?  Because Andrew would find my iPad, select the YouTube icon, and then search for videos about Cars.

So far, Andrew has learned to spell a handful of words.  He can spell his name, Cars, Cars 2, mommy, daddy, Emma, and a pretty decent list of words that are similar to Mater such as water, later, and antimaterialism. 

Here are a few pictures of Andrew showing off his adeptness with spelling.

Day 1629 - Picture Friday: Disney California Adventure Edition

 New for Summer 2012!  Uncle Remus's Colonoscopy Tunnel Escape!

 I can't tell if Andrew is flexing his muscles or auditioning for La Cage Aux Folles.

 "Maybe this would be the 'Happiest Place on Earth' if you got that damn camera out of my face..."

"Someone needs a Fastpass for a stick of deodorant."

Have a great weekend!

Day 1626 - Conversations with Emma & Andrew

As evidenced occasionally by this blog, I have a sarcastic and teasing sense of humor.  I guess it is not a gigantic surprise that Emma and Andrew have this type of humor too.  But more goofy than sarcastic, and more innocent than teasing.  But Andrew often has the ability to say something in jest that stops the conversation.

The family was in the car talking about the different holidays we celebrate through the year.

"Daddy, when is it Easter again?" asked Emma.

"It won't be for another year," I answered.

"That a long time!" added Andrew.

"How about Christmas?  How long is that?" inquired Emma.

"Well, Christmas won't come until the end of this year, and then we'll have to wait a whole other year for it to return.  Most holidays and celebrations are just once a year," I was able to explain with my vast knowledge of weeks, months, and years.

Emma whined, "Why do we have to wait so long for Christmas?"

"Santa needs an entire year to get ready for Christmas.  If we had too many Christmases, then Santa wouldn't have enough time to prepare all the gifts and nobody would get presents," I explained.

"Why wouldn't we get presents?" exclaimed a shocked and outraged Emma.

"I know!  I know!" shouted Andrew.

"Okay, Andrew.  Why wouldn't Santa be able to deliver all of the presents?" I asked.

"Because he died!" stated Andrew.

And with that news, Emma gouged her eyes out with a crazy straw.  Happy holidays!

Day 1629 - Picture Friday: Easter Edition

 The only thing bigger than Emma's smile is that big ass bow on her hip.

"Psst.  Wanna see my eggs?"

"If I squeeze my bunny hard enough maybe he'll poop out a chocolate egg!"

"Emma gets a bunny, and I get a sheep and Irish t-shirt?"

Have a great weekend!

Day 1626 - Egg-ception to the Rule

Out of the four Easters we have spent with the kids, this year was the best.  Not only did I win a prize for stuffing the most marshmallow Peeps in my mouth (54), but the kids were actually excited to search for eggs left by the Easter Bunny.  What symbolizes the resurrection of Jesus Christ more than finding jelly beans and stickers inside plastic eggs?

Before the festivities could begin, we had to do a few errands in the morning.  While Lisa was strapping the kids in their car seats, I quickly hid two dozen plastic eggs all around the house.  I even left the Easter baskets and a note from the Easter Bunny at the bottom of the stairs.  I couldn't wait to return from Costco to see the surprise on Emma's and Andrew's face, and to figure out where to store 36 rolls of toilet paper and 16 cans of tuna.

But as often is the case with kids, your plans never quite work out.  When we return home from errands, the kids can't wait to rush upstairs and play with their toys.  But this time, they just screwed around downstairs while their precious plastic eggs awaited to be discovered.  I don't have the full five minutes of them dawdling, but here is a video that shows how their goofing around tested our patience.

Day 1622 - Picture Friday

 Emma enjoys coordinating her shirts with her food.

 "Can you believe that although these cars only cost $4.99, you have bought me fifty-two of them which means you have spent $259.48 without tax, but with tax $282.18 on toys that I will outgrow in a few more years?"

"This chain hurts.  Thank god I don't have testicles."

Guess who lost in the battle of dress-up.

Have a great weekend!

Day 1619 - Crayon Creativity

It is nice to see the kids able to enjoy themselves at a table with a stack of paper and a box of crayons.  Some of my favorite times when I was younger involved paper and crayons.  I remember being in elementary school and spending hours drawing and coloring.  I remember being in middle school on the bench during P.E. because nobody picked me and spending the period drawing and coloring.  And I remember being in high school at home not going to Senior Prom because everyone teased me for always carrying around paper and crayons.  Such memories.

On Saturday afternoon, the kids were having a fun time playing with each other.  Andrew asked me for paper and crayons, and Emma asked Lisa to play the "Winnie the Pooh" song on the iPod.  So we happily obliged our creative children and let them go at it with their imagination.

They did not want us to see what they were doing because it was going to be a big surprise.  After frantic coloring, the kids asked us for scissor and tape because they wanted to cut out their drawings and tape it on the wall.

Lisa and I were very excited to see how our little Renoirs were going to surprise us.  Soon it was time for the unveiling of their artistic endeavors.  As I looked at what they did, all I could think was "What crap." 

I'm not being mean or overly critical.  Literally.  They. Drew. Crap.

Lisa was slightly aghast at what they drew.  Emma drew her turds with a certain amount of realism, but Andrew went the Picasso route and drew eyeballs and eyelashes on his feces.  Personally, I thought it was hilarious and was impressed that they chose to play "Winnie the Pooh" to get them into the mood.

We did tell the kids that while it may be funny at home to draw poop with optics, it is not appropriate behavior at school or with other people.  After all, home is where the poop is.  Or something like that.