Week 23 -- Ankles Part Deux

Don't mean to overemphasize Lisa's redwood forest-like ankles, but we had a doctor's appointment today. And this time our doctor made an ankle comment!

Doctor: Do you have any concerns?
Lisa: Well, my ankles are swollen.
Doctor: Your blood pressure is fine so I wouldn't worry about your...cankles (chortle). You know what cankles are?
Lisa: ...yes...
Doctor: It's when there's no defined area between the calf and the ankle. You put those two words together and you get cankle (chortle). That's what you have.
Lisa: ...yes, i know...
Scott: I call her Babar.
Doctor: Like the elephant!
Scott: Yup! Because her legs look like elephant legs!
Doctor: Like...elecankles!

Needless to say, I like our doctor. Although it was quite weird having this conversation while he was analyzing Lisa's cervix with a probe in her coochi-coochi. The last time that happened we were drunk at a karaoke bar with a flashlight and a disposable camera. And by 'we' I mean myself and the doctor.

Otherwise everything is perfectly fine with Lisa and the babies. The great thing about having twins is that we get a brief ultrasound of the kids with every appointment. This time we saw the kids doing 'fetal breathing' which means the babies are healthy. The doctor tried to jostle one of the kids by shaking Lisa's belly, but all that did was make Lisa pee.

Tomorrow, we are driving to Northern California and will be up there for over a week. Lisa's sister and her niece are throwing her an Ichinaga baby shower on Saturday. Then next Saturday my mom is throwing us an Ichikawa baby shower. I don't think I've experienced such an intense showering experience since Meryl Streep in "Silkwood."

Thanks to everyone who has been visiting this silly blog. Keep the comments coming in, and I'll try to update whenever something interesting comes our way. Right now there's nothing else to report as I look at Lisa sleeping on the sofa with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of scotch in the other. Isn't that cuuuuuute? Look at that pregnant glow. Oh wait. She's on fire. Talk later!

Week 22 -- Acute Angles and Obtuse Ankles

Lisa goes to the doctor's office. Before she steps on the scale, she takes off her sandals. As the nurse adjusts the scale's weights, she glances at Lisa's feet and shrieks, "Wow! Your ankles are huuuuuuge!"

You can see Lisa's progression of ankle size by my quick little sketch. Currently, her nickname around the house is Babar. And my nickname around the house is Don't-Be-An-A-Hole.

So yes...Lisa is getting bigger. All over the school yard she's hearing parents say things like, "Look how big you are!" or "Your tummy is so large!" or "Where's my child? Good lord...where did my child go?" Thankfully, Lisa's last day of work will be next Wednesday. After which she will be in the comfort of her home hearing her husband say things like "Look how big you are, Babar" or "Your tummy is so large, Babar!"

This past Sunday, Lisa's student's parent threw her a baby shower. It was very exciting because this was our first shower. Lisa received many great gifts, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that none of the clothes will fit her. At least Lisa will be able to use the diapers (Who knew they knew?!?).

Another big event this week is that Lisa started to feel the babies kick. She even put my hand on her belly, and I felt the baby kick too. This was a big deal for me because Lisa hasn't allowed me to touch her for the past five months after she found out I impregnated her with twins. I've been very lonely.

Week 21 -- FutureSex

Ordinarily, I would never say what I'm about to say, but just take a look at our kid's penis and vagina!

I suppose it's kinda hard to figure out where the vagina is (Hell, it took me three years of marriage for me.), but if you look at the picture at the top the image on the far left is basically the girl's butt. The two little white spots in the center are the feet. And in between all of that there is a little white cursor dot that indicates where the vagina is located (Why didn't I have that cursor on my honeymoon...).

The picture at the bottom is a little more abstract cause the angle is weird. But right in the center of the picture with the helpful little white cursor dot is the penis and the balls. Either that or a duck is throwing up a Mentos.

So yes, we are having a boy and a girl. After 21 weeks, we were finally given the word that the baby whose sex we were not sure about was a girl. I suppose some of the excitement is taken away, but we figure with twins we need to be as organized as possible. Oh by the way, for those of you who don't want to know the sex of our kids please do not read this paragraph. Wait. You did. Too bad for you. Life's not fair, get over it.

Besides finding out the sexes of the twins, this ultrasound was pretty detailed. Our appointments usually take around 5-10 minutes, but this time the doctor took his time examining every nook and cranny of the babies; it took about 30 minutes. He said everything was "structurally" there (i.e. heart, brain, leg/arm bones, intestines, bladder, spleen, etc). Size and weight-wise the kids are doing great. The doctor also said our daughter will be bad at math, and our son will have a fear of clowns.

As for weight gain, the doctor said the average 35-45 pounds should be attained by the time the kids come out. There are a lot of naps throughout the day, and feet are starting to swell. Finally, there is of course that great glow. But enough about me. Lisa is doing fine too.