Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The Countdown Begins...

Hello family and friends! And to those of you internet strangers searching to sate their edamame fetish, this is the wrong site for you.

This will be the first in a series of postings that will follow in detail Lisa's date with the c-section scissors that will bring forth the life of two little Ichikawa spawn. Yes, Lisa will have to have a c-section due to a horrible car accident that left her without a vagina. Okay fine...she had her spleen removed, but didn't you just question her entire pregnancy!

Here's a quick summary of what has happened so far:

Week 1: Scott's spermies have a date with destiny (i.e. Lisa's eggs).
Week 2: Did laundry.
Week 3: Went to the dentist.
Week 4: Ate bad Del Taco.
Week 5: Hmm what's wrong with this sentence that's right there's no period
Week 6: Wow! Lisa's pregnancy stick is positive! Doctor's visit confirms it!
Week 7: Wow! Scott's pregnancy stick is negative! Doctor's visit is ridiculed and questions
Scott's sanity.
Week 8: Holy $*^&! The ultrasound shows twins!
Week 9: ...$*^&...
Week 10: ...$*^&...
Week 11: ...$*^&...
Week 12: Genetic blood test and ultrasound confirms that the twins have a 1 in 3000 chance
of having Down's syndrome.
Week 13: Genetic blood test and ultrasound confirms that the twins have a 1 in 2 chance of
sharing Scott's metrosexual love of musical theater.
Week 14: Lisa begins to show a little, but Scott just calls her fatty.
Week 15: Scott banished to the sofa.
Week 16: Triple marker blood test confirms the the twins are healthy.
Week 17: Lisa no longer looks fat, she is indeed pregnant!
Week 18: Baby registries set-up at Target, Babies R Us, Best Buy, Circuit City, and Fry's.
Babies would LOVE to have a 50" LCD television screen and 7.1 digital sound system.
Week 19: After 11+ years in West Los Angeles, Scott & Lisa move to Sherman Oaks to a larger
apartment for the twin's 50" LCD television screen and 7.1 digital sound system.

And here we are at Week 20! Where has the time gone? This Saturday we do the major ultrasound that allows the doctor to look at the kid's internal organs. Hopefully they are like their father and have spleens. Also we hope that the doctor will confirm the sexes of the kids. The doctor is pretty sure about one of them, but not too sure about the other.

Okay. I think that will be enough for the first posting. After the next doctor's appointment I'll post more info!

3 comments:

tigermilk said...

dude. Metrosexual? More like, homosexual.

maxqkid@yahoo.com said...

OMG! Sherman Oaks. I should have actually read that e-mail!

SusieGeiser said...

The spleen is an overrated organ. Don't sweat it.