Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Day 1592 - Thanks for Nothing, A-Hole

In order for Lisa to finish some stuff at home, I decided to take the kids with me on a couple of errands.  I had to go to Target, drop off the bi-monthly check to my mistress, and then Best Buy.  As anyone knows who has kids, errands can be quite exhausting especially after having to explain to them that your mistress is just your work boss who likes to hug you a lot.  At least I was ending my chores with a trip to Best Buy.

But by the time I got to Best Buy, the kids plain tuckered me out.  All I wanted to do was grab a box of overpriced magenta ink and get the hell out.  Of course, the kids had their own plans.

They ran to the iPad display and demanded to play a couple of games.  I finally got them to leave the iPad counter after letting them play a few terrifying levels of Dead Space, but off they went running to the television section.  I had to run up and down the aisle trying to find Andrew and Emma while effeminately holding onto the little box of magenta ink.

We all ended up sitting on an over-sized ottoman in the Magnolia section of Best Buy.  For some reason, they were just staring at the blu-ray menu screen for Transformers.  I told the kids we had to go home because Mommy was waiting for us.

"I want to watch Transformers," said Emma.

"Robots!  Robots!" chanted Andrew.

Soon, I was doing the dreaded invisible revolving door routine with them.  As soon as I got the kids off the ottoman to walk a few feet forward towards the exit, they would turn through the invisible revolving door and sit back down.

A few frustrating minutes passed, and I finally began to gain control over the kids.  How did I gain back control?  Reverse psychology?  Sheer will and determination?  Parental mental manipulation?  Nah, I just told them I would give them a cookie at home.

And then the a-hole moment occurred.  A Best Buy manager came by to ask me if I needed any help.  I told him no thank you.  His attention then turned towards the kids.

"Hey, kids," he said.  "How you doing?"

"I want robots!" demanded Andrew.

"Oh?  You like Transformer?" he said.

Here it comes...

"They're pretty cool, huh?" he continued.

Any second now...

"Let me start the movie for you," he said as he pushed play on the blu-ray player.


I couldn't believe what he did!  Every time I've been in Best Buy looking for someone to help, there is never a blue-shirted geek walking the area.  But this time because I'm in the part of the store that has a leather ottoman and 65" LCD televisions, I get an ASSHOLE who did the one thing I did not want him to do:  ENGAGE THE KIDS WITH MORE F*&^ING ROBOTS!

So I did what I should've done five minutes ago:  I picked up the kids like luggage (while still holding onto my magenta ink), bought my ink, and then drove home.  All due to that asshole geek squad ne'er do well, I am now struggling with lower back pain, shoulder spasms, and enlarged forearms.  I hope my incident can be an example for all retail workers across this country of ours to shut the f*&k up and not be an asshole when dealing with a parent trying to get out of their store. 

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