I was on the floor reading the Little Golden Book version of The Story of O to Andrew. After explaining the definition of submission and dominance to Andrew, Emma came up to me. She just stood next to me, so I asked her if something was wrong.
"I have something for you, Daddy," said Emma.
Ooo. I love me some presents. I wondered what it could be! I opened my hands and waited for some opulent present from my sweet princess.
"Here you go," said Emma as she dropped an indeterminable object into my hand.
I looked and rolled it between my fingers. It actually looked like Emma picked up a piece of food from the floor, so I gave it a quick smell and guessed that it was a piece of corn.
"Emma, is this corn?"
"No," answered Emma.
I took a really close look at it again and gave it one more good whiff. I was certain it was a piece of corn.
"Emma, where did you get this?"
"My nose," she said.
DAMMIT! IT WAS A BOOGER!
After the kids saw me do my freak dance, I grabbed a tissue and threw it away. I didn't understand why Emma decided to grant me the pleasure of holding her nose crap when I see the kids throwing away actual trash into the trash can all day long. Does Emma think there is a difference between an old crayon and a nose turd where the nose turd is too valuable to throw away in the garbage?
I eventually explained to Emma that she should not pick her nose, and if she had something in her nose she should ask for a tissue. And as an after thought, I sat her down to explain that when she poops in her diaper, she should never hand it to me...because this is something that Mommy would rather hold. Have fun, Lisa!
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