Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Day 680 - Make Today End


One of the many wonderful gifts Crazy Grandma Ichikawa has given my wife (besides ulcers) is a subscription to Good Housekeeping magazine. A passive-aggressive insult? Yes. But not as bad as the other magazines my mother has subscribed for Lisa: Weight Watchers, Focus on Healthy Aging, and Today's Black Women.

After Lisa is finished reading her magazines, she gives them to the kids. Emma and Andrew love looking at the many pictures of overweight women, elderly people exercising, and Michelle Obama. They also love shredding the magazines into little pieces of paper. The kids do such a great job, I have given them some old bills and bank statements to shred.

But there was this one magazine that Andrew did not tear. He just kept on staring at the cover of a Good Housekeeping magazine. What caught the eye of Andrew? Meredith Vieira.

What...

the...

f?

At first I thought it might be a fluke. But when I saw him turn to the page in the magazine that featured another photo of Meredith Vieira, I knew this wasn't an accident. I have no idea what Andrew sees in Meredith. She's a 56 year old woman who looks decent for her age, likes to be in control, and can talk your ear off. Wait a second! Andrew thinks Meredith is Lisa!

NOTE: The remainder of this blog entry will be written by Scott's wife, Lisa. Unfortunately, Scott's right arm is broken, and he is bleeding profusely from his left eye. Take care, Scott!

There is nothing wrong if Andrew finds things in common with Meredith Vieira and Mommy. They are both beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate people who will not put up with ignorance and stupidity from a wide assortment of people whether it's the head of state or a dumbass husband.

Andrew chooses Meredith Vieira to be his future wife...although when he is legally able to marry her, she will most likely be dead.

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