Day 1237 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week, I asked whether or not you thought the kids were going to nap at preschool.  The results were tied at forty percent each for not taking a nap and pretending to take a nap and then proceed to wreck havoc at home.  So basically, eighty percent were saying, "You're screwed."

Every day when I picked up the kids at preschool, I asked their teachers if they took a nap.  The answer they gave me was not too surprising.  Emma napped every day at school.  First of all, she is much more comfortable with school.  Also, if she had it her way at home, she would also want to nap every day if it were not for the distraction called Andrew.

As for Andrew, he slept more often than not; probably four out of the five days.  But he had a very hard time settling down and would occasionally scream in the middle of nap time waking the entire class.  The teachers would try to calm Andrew down by patting his head or back.  They would even try cuddling with him to keep him from running around the classroom and stomping on other toddler's heads.

One day when I asked him if he was napping, he said, "I don't like it!  Teacher hold me down!  She hold me down!'

I told him that the teacher was trying to calm him down and make sure he wasn't running around during nap time.  "Which teacher held you down?" I asked.

He specifically answered, "The purple one!"

I didn't notice a purple teacher in class, although one eerily resembles this childhood icon...

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For those of you who have been regular readers of this blog, you probably noticed some changes to it.  First of all, I changed the look of the blog.  Secondly, I'm slowly in the process of expanding the blog into the world of Twitter and Facebook.  And lastly, and most importantly, I have decided to write the blog when I'm sober (Charlie Sheen totally did a wake-up call for me!).

I'm not totally finished with the update of the blog because I may do a few tweaks here and there in terms of text, color, and placement of gadgets.  But I would say the blog is currently 80-90% complete.  The rest of the improvements will basically be ad space for Snuggies, Pajama Jeans, and Toddlers & Tiaras.

So what do you think of the new look?  Is it better?  Worse?  And please leave comments if you have any suggestions!

Day 1236 - No Sleep for You!

Here's a syllogism to tell you what has been going on in the Ichikawa household for the past month:

Everyone in the Ichikawa house is sleepy.
Andrew is not sleeping.
Therefore, Andrew is screwing everyone over and pissing Scott off.

Pretty much since Andrew started preschool, he has stopped sleeping through the night.  He will wake up several times and occasionally stay awake fussing and crying for up to an hour.  We've tried several methods to keep him in bed, but nothing has worked (i.e. crying it out, soothing him, bungee cords).

Obviously, he is still dealing with some sort of separation anxiety.  Although he is perfectly happy at school, the night brings out his worrying.  He has become our little Japanese Woody Allen.

Preschool has also been the catalyst for other worries that Andrew now has.  As I mentioned in another blog entry, Andrew is still upset that Borders is closing.  Several times a week, he still asks me if Borders is closing.  I've tried to explain to him that if Borders was more prescient about online business and digital media, they may not have had to close down two hundred of their stores.  And all Andrew does to my explanation is pick his nose.  Hmph.

Andrew is also asking when Mommy is going to work.  There must be something wrong with my standard answer of "Tomorrow morning" because he continues to ask that same question at 9pm, 11:30pm, 2am, and 4am.  I must figure out a way to be less wordy with my reply.  Perhaps "Tom morn"?

I hope this is just another phase, but there's something a little more to it this time because we're talking about a personality trait.  I say this because I know when I was a kid, I also tended to worry and over-analyze things.  But I think those days are over because I feel much more well-adjusted with my older age.  As for Andrew, I stay awake at night wondering why he can't sleep and if there's something I could do about it, but there's only so much you can do for a three year old who refuses to sleep, yet it pains me to see him worry about things because worrying is just wasteful energy and it is so important for someone so young to get enough sleep and you really don't want to see a three year old be a worry wart about things that he should not concern himself with at such an age.

...and I'm worried that I'm thinking about how little sleep I've been getting.  Boy, I sure hope Andrew isn't like me.

Day 1235 - Conversations with Emma

Occasionally, there are times when my immature and poopy-centric mind gives in to a more sentimental side. It does not happen often, but when it does it is often interpreted as sarcasm and is met with a slap to the face. I just can't win...

Emma and I were sitting on the couch reading books and having a nice time together. After I finished a book, Emma leaned her head on my shoulder and gave me a hug.

"Hey, Emma," I said.

"Yes?" answered Emma.

"I really enjoy spending time with you," I said as I gave her a little tweak on her button nose.

And Emma stared into my eyes and said with deep feeling, "I really enjoy eating ice cream."

...i just can't win...

Day 1234 - Picture Friday

"This would be more interesting if flames came out..."

Poor Andrew. He's plum tuckered out from playing, running, and the sofa pillow secretly dipped in chloroform.

What happens when you mistake a White Russian for milk.

Guess what Andrew is hiding behind: 1) Our sofa 2) Our bed 3) Big Momma's left thigh

Have a great weekend!

Day 1233 - Tea Party

I don't know how political the kids are at this age, but the one thing I know is that they love tea parties. They pretend to have tea parties on the stairs, the sofa, the coffee table, their beds, and the bathroom (Don't drink the yellow tea...). It's about ten minutes of them playing together nicely followed by a one minute of broken tea cups and third degree burns.

While I was in the kitchen, the kids were having a tea party on the coffee table. They began to laugh hysterically so I checked to see what was going on. The two of them came up with what they believed to be the funniest tea party since Christine McDonnell auditioned for Wicked.

And just so you understand what the kids are saying in the video, when they say "shi-shi" that's the Japanese baby word for piss. Yup. This is going to be a great tea party...

Day 1231 - Tooth or Dare

Yesterday, Lisa was home because it was a holiday. And I was home yesterday because I haven't worked in six months and it was Monday. So what could be a better way to spend the day than to take the kids to their first ever dentist appointment?

Our pediatrician recommended this dentist that is literally a few miles away from our home. We figured why not try her out and see how it goes. The dental office was very inviting. It had a Finding Nemo theme which was much better than the other dental office which had an Inglourious Basterds theme. There were video games, a gigantic aquarium, large LCD televisions, puzzles, and books. As I looked at all of the toys, I suddenly wished I had a root canal the dentist could work on.

Lisa and I tried to prepare the kids for the dentist. We read them a book about the dentist office. We explained to them that the dentist were going to put fancy toothbrushes and tools in their mouths to make sure their teeth were extra clean. And I showed them a YouTube video on oral surgery.

That was a bad idea...

When Andrew's and Emma's names were called, Lisa and I told the dentist that Emma would go first. We weren't too sure how Emma was going to deal with the cleaning, but we were pretty sure she would be more calm than over-stimulated Andrew. Hint: Do not give your child an espresso before their first dentist appointment.

The dentist and her assistant were very friendly and explained everything that was going on. There were also little LCD televisions mounted on the ceilings so Emma could watch any number of movies like Madagascar, Toy Story, or Marathon Man.

The whole procedure went extremely smoothly with Emma. The dentist counted all of her teeth. Then she proceeded to clean, floss, and apply fluoride to her teeth. And it was all done. The only thing the dentist told us was that it looked like two of Emma's front teeth might be fused together; it's pretty common with baby teeth. She asked us to make sure we brush the fused teeth really well, and when it is time for her front teeth to come out, there is a great possibility that they may have to be removed because the roots are so large. I started to explain to Emma the possibility of oral surgery, but thankfully Lisa was next to me to kick me in the nuts.

Next up was Andrew. As the dentist greeted him and began to lean back his chair, things seemed to be okay. There was a little struggle as the dentist counted Andrew's teeth, but he soon calmed down as the dentist counted up to the number 20. Andrew selected watermelon toothpaste for his cleaning because he loves watermelon. As the cleaning started, I had an awful feeling that watermelon may become his most hated fruit.

First of all, Andrew did not like the gritty texture and taste of the toothpaste. Also, Andrew did not want the dentist to put strange probes into him mouth. I explained to Andrew that I have had plenty of strange probes, and I enjoyed them all. Since Andrew was not cooperating, the dentist asked if he wanted his Mommy to sit with him. Andrew nodded yes.

So Lisa got into the dentist chair with Andrew lying on top of her. The dentist quickly cleaned his teeth as the assistant kept Andrew's arm out of the way and I tried to keep his legs from kicking Lisa. As I stood back, all I could think as Andrew kicked his legs was how fortunate that Lisa did not have testicles.

The dentist did not want to spend too much time on Andrew because she did not want the visit to be an unpleasant experience and his teeth looked fine. As soon as the dentist was done with Andrew, he stopped screaming. Since there weren't any tears in his eyes, I realized it wasn't that he was scared or sad, he was just pissed off. Really pissed off.

Happily, the visit ended on a high note because they received a goodie bag. Emma received a Princess toothbrush, Princess dental floss, kid toothpaste, and a box of Crayolas. Andrew received a Cars toothbrush, Toy Story dental floss, kid toothpaste, a box of Crayolas, and a xanax.

As we walked to the car, we told the kids what a great job they did at the dentist. We were very proud of them, and the dentist said they had very clean teeth. When I opened the car door for Emma, I told her one more time what a great job she did.

"I know," she agreed. "I did a very good job."

"Yes," I said. "You and Andrew did a very good job."

Emma stopped me. "Not Andrew."

"Andrew, didn't do a good job?" I asked.

"No," she said. But then she thought about it and rephrased her answer. "Well, Andrew did a little bit not very good job."

And with that, we treated the kids to a little frozen yogurt to ensure that at their dental appointment they would have a cavity.

Day 1230 - Poll Results & New Poll

Last week, I asked your opinion about private versus public schools. Sixty-five percent favored public schools. Since Lisa is a public school teacher, she is eternally grateful for your support and will be sending each and everyone of you a scratch and sniff "You're Great" sticker. And twenty-two percent thought it didn't matter which school you go to as long as you give your child the support and guidance that s/he needs.

As I mentioned before, we are planning to send our kids to public school. We aren't against private schools at all, and if we had the finances to send our kids to a top-rated one, we would. We're just against the preconceived notion that private schools are automatically better than public schools. Sure, private schools may have smaller class sizes and cleaner and more modern facilities. But you know public schools have that private schools don't? Cold tater tots and chewy pizza. Take that, you homogeneous, uniform-wearing over achievers!

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For the past three weeks, I have been slowly transitioning the kids to a full day at preschool. The first week, I was with them for most of the day. The second week, they attended school from 9am to 12p. The third week, they attended from 8:30a-12:30p. And now this week, I am going to have them start to take naps at school.

Naps at home are often one to two hours of mayhem for me. When the kids nap in their beds, I let them bring one book so if they can't sleep, they can quietly read in bed. Oh, how naive I am. When one kid can't sleep, it often means the other kid can't sleep. And then screaming, running, crying, and the occasional class action suit follows.

I am told that kids tend to nap at school because of herd mentality. I am also told when kids get older, they tend to beat other kids up because of herd mentality. Not too sure about this herd thing.

So what do you think? Do you think our kids will behave like cattle and nap like all of the other livestock in their classroom? Or will they rise up against the machine and rebel against enforced sleeping?