Day 78 - Emma, I Said "Say Cheese" Not "Eat Cheese"

Today marks Week Eleven for the twins. It is also known around the household as "Week I'm So Sleepy", "Week The Sofa Is Stained Again", and "Week How Many More Weeks Until College." Here are some photos from the past week.

Emma does a peculiar thing when she is very tired and in our arms: she burrows. Look at her trying to dig her face into Lisa's arms to find a comfortable spot and fall asleep. I say it's all well and good as long as she doesn't fall asleep on my lap and burrows for nuts.

I'm not too sure why, but Lisa was very excited to put the kids in this diaper box. You can tell Andrew shares my same excitement for this photo idea.

As with most things we do with Emma, we tend to be a little more cautious since our little girl is a little fussy and temperamental. I totally thought Emma was going to throw a fit in the box, but as you can see she is at the very least amused by all of this.

Of course the next picture after the one above has Emma crying to get out of the box. But I don't blame her being fussy. Wouldn't you be upset if you were sitting in a box with 234 used diapers?

Compared to earlier pictures of the kids, you can tell they have a little more neck support. Or at least Andrew has a bit more than our jowl-challenged Emma. It's always hard to get a picture of the kids smiling at the same time. I even tried bribing them with a PS3.

Yay! Daddy gets a PS3!!!

Day 77 - Aye, There's the Rub...

Now that there are no grandparents around to help out with feeding time, Lisa has been figuring out ways to accomplish this necessary (so they say) task. For the first three days, she has been feeding them in their car seats on the floor. But bending over all day long took a slight toll on Lisa's back. It is now sore and achy.

When Lisa told me about her sore back, I told her, "You idiot! Put the car seats on the sofa or the coffee table so the kids are level with you! Now where's my Muscle & Fitness magazine?" Hopefully, my constructive advice will help Lisa's back condition.

Last night, we got into bed a bit past midnight after going through our nightly routine with the kids: feed, burp, swaddle, sway, duct tape their mouths. I dragged myself into bed and was ready to crash, but Lisa rolled over and asked, "Will you give me a back rub?"

My poor wife. Home all day by herself with the kids. How could I say no?

"Tomorrow," I said.

"Pleeeease. My back hurts," whined Lisa.

It is very rare when Lisa asks for a back rub. She's a very ticklish person so she does not enjoy massages in general. For one Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate to Burke Williams. But due to her sensitive skin, she did not enjoy the massage at all because she was too giggly. I got a massage once too, and I was also too sensitive...but for another reason I'd rather not discuss.

In order to sleep, I told Lisa to roll over and I would give her a quick back rub. She turns over. I turn towards her. I place my hand on the side of her back and she goes...

"AAAAAHHHHH....HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

With one touch on her back she screams. And guess what? She wakes up both kids. Yes, that's right. Both kids wake up and start crying.

And what was the first thing Lisa said after this catastrophe? She said, "You're going to put this on the blog, aren't you?"

Damn right.

Day 76 - Poll Results & New Poll

THE WINNER!!!

It was an exciting poll this past week between Aunt Anne, Aunt Susan, and Aunt Bea. Aunt Bea was never really a threat since she was too busy with a bake sale this past weekend in Mayberry. So after 12 rounds, Anne ruled the day with 47% of the vote versus Susan's 29%.

When Lisa interviewed Susan the Defeated on the phone to ask her opinion on the fight, Susan commented that "...Anne probably paid people to vote for her." Anne was not available for comment as she was at a local ATM.

For this week's poll, I open up the question of whether or not we should drive up north for the holidays. The Ichinaga clan is pressuring us to come up. So much so that Lisa's sister, Susan the Defeated, wrote a letter to us from Emma & Andrew asking us to make the trip so they can visit all of their cousins. As for the Ichikawa clan, my mom is germphobic so she'd rather have the kids stay in Los Angeles because there's no possible way the kids could get sick here with such clean air and people.

Day 75 - Make 'Em Laugh

I admit it: I'm a laugh whore. I'll pretty much do anything for a laugh. Trying to be funny even got me slapped three times on three separate occasions in middle school -- all by girls. The last slap in seventh grade had something to do with me making a tampon joke in class to a menstruating girl. Before you judge me that same tampon joke is how I won over Lisa. So who's laughing now?

So it should come to no surprise how happy I am to report that Emma laughed for the first time! I started off with some current material about the Iran report and a few Obama jokes. I think that went over her head, so I went the other direction with some prop gags and impersonations like Regis Philbin working for Best Buy ("I'm outta remote CONTROLS!"). When that didn't work, I resorted to funny faces and noises. And bingo! Several laughs in a row.

As for Andrew, he's not quite at the laughing stage, but he is smiling more often than usual. When people say girls tend to mature at a faster rate than boys, I'd have to believe them. For the most part, Emma is about a week ahead of Andrew with most major changes. She was the first to laugh, smile, make eye contact, and solve simple algebra problems. The one thing that Andrew is ahead of Emma is movement. He kicks, swats, and cranes his head around a lot more than Emma. But as mentioned by our doctor in a previous entry, Emma's movement might be hindered by one significant factor: heft.

"Daddy...that tampon joke is hee-lay-ree-us!!!"

Day 74 - On Our Own

As of yesterday, my parents returned to Sacramento so they could relax back at home and continue their gambling habit at Northern California Indian casinos. So for the first time since the babies were born...WE ARE ON OUR OWN (cue thunder, lightening, dramatic music, double-takes, locusts, frogs, rain, lava, and Howie Mandel)!

Both of our parents aren't planning to visit us until next month. So the next time we'll have people helping us might be during the holiday break if we decide to make the trip up to Northern California. I'm sure if we make that trip that will make for an interesting blog.

I'll post an entry at the end of the week to tell you how we made it through the first week without help. In the meantime, here's a little video of our kids explaining their thoughts about not having anyone else except us around the house.

Day 72 - Vaccination Time

The Friday after Thanksgiving, the kids had their eight week check-up. With this appointment, they received their first set of vaccinations. It was a bunch of shots -- two in each leg. The shots were for DPT (diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis), influenza type B, polio, and pneumococcal. I suggested a shot of bourbon would make the kids more relaxed, but after explaining it was a joke to a social worker, the shots were done.

There's quite a bit of controversy about vaccinations. Many people feel we vaccinate too much or at the very least we vaccinate too early. Some also say there's no need for certain vaccinations because these illnesses are practically gone. Then the other side says these illnesses are gone because we continue to vaccinate. Also some people try to link the increase in autism to vaccinations, but others say we just diagnose autism a lot more. It's all quite confusing!

We didn't scare ourselves with all of the talk on the internet about the dangers of vaccinations. Most of the horror stories come from message boards and sites that are more holistic about a baby's well-being. With our research, we just thought the advantages outweighed the disadvantages. And whatever pain or discomfort the kids would have from the shots would pale in comparison to what could happen to them if they didn't get the shots like...oh say...death.

First up was Andrew. The first two shots in his left leg made him crinkle his little nose as if he smelled Lisa's exhaust after a Del Taco binge. But the next two shots in his right leg turned his entire face red as if he smelled my exhaust after a Del Taco binge. After a few minutes, he calmed down and went on as if nothing happened at all.

But for our little prima donna, Emma, the shots became a chance to debut her latest aria entitled "WAAHH AAAHH EEEEE WAAAAHH OOOO AAHHH!?!" The English translation of this Italian piece is "You Dirty Son Of A Bitch What the Hell Did You Put In My Leg!?!" Unlike Andrew, she was quite fussy when we returned home so we gave her some Infant Tylenol. And for the next day or two she was a bit more inconsolable than usual, but other than that she returned to her usual high maintenance self by Monday.

As for the rest of the appointment, the kids are perfectly healthy. Andrew jumped from the 3 percentile for height to the 25th percentile. And Emma is at the 75th percentile for height and weight. Our doctor also said the next big change before their 4 month check-up is that they will probably learn to turn over. She said Andrew looked like he'll probably get there before Emma because "...Emma is...umm...well...she has more to work with."

Day 71 - 10 Weeks Old

Here is a picture of Andrew and Emma at ten weeks old:


Here are some other things around our house that are ten weeks old:

A lemon.

Flat soda.

"We Are Marshall" dvd from Netflix.

A square of toilet paper that neither of us are willing to pick up first.